Some working mom's probably feel the same way. In October of 2008, I became a mom. In January of 2009, I became a working mom. Since her birth, I had imagined the day I would hand over Emerson to someone else for 8 hours a day, my heart breaking with each thought. Week after week of my maternity leave slid by peacefully, my inner self refusing to look too closely at the calendar.
I went back to work knowing I had to fulfill my commitment to my principal, not knowing how I would ever be able to last a minute, much less multiple hours without my daughter in my arms. I did what every teacher does--I counted the days until summer. Now summer had such a sweeter meaning.
Tomorrow marks one year of me being a working mom. I wish I could say it's been good. I wish I could say it's been okay. But the truth is, I am still a little weepy each morning when I have to kiss Emerson good-bye. We have been SO fortunate to have found a wonderful woman to care for her. I know Emerson loves playing with the other kids each day. But I wish she were just playing with ME.
To all you other working mom's out there: I feel your pain. To all you lucky stay-at-home mom's: I envy all the extra minutes you get to spend with your kids each day. Please don't take them for granted.
Staying home with Emerson isn't an option for me right now. So, I will just keep on.
Emerson, January 2009. Dressed and ready for an early morning drop off.
3 comments:
I hear you loud and clear. Right there with you on this one :-)
Such a hard thing! I like to pretend I am a stay at home mom since my kids are only in day care 5-10 hours a week. But I think it is good for all of us that I work 2 days a week. It does make me treasure the time I have with them and appreciate every moment more!
For me, there are good days and bad days. . .When it's hard, I think of all the other peoples' lives that I touch through my job. I know that God is glorified by BOTH my job as TEACHER and my job as MOTHER. When I remember this, I celebrate how God can use me for His purposes.
Of course, as I watch Maddie grow into a young woman, I can see her becoming more confident and searching for ways to use her gifts in the world, too. I can only hope that some of that motivation comes from my example.
My prayers and deepest compassion are yours, Annie. Emerson is so special. . .and you're doing a great job!
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